I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
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Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
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Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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