The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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