Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize