I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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