? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize