so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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