he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
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We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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