sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
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all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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