What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize