Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize