Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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