Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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