OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize