Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize