What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
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I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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