just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
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you didnt know i had herpes?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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