in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
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Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
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Bang-toberfest begins!!
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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