I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize