she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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