remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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