The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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