Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize