ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize