I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize