If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize