dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
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He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
This is the high leading the old right now
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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