Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
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I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
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