Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize