What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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