He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Pooping to opera.
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