Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
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