One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
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It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
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Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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