Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
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