I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
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no more duck duck goose at the bar
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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