Someone shit on the floor
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize