So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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