imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize