I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
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I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
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Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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