Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
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