actually, I'm a sock model
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize