True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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