he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
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I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
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That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
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