Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize