i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
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i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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