Swine flu. Run for my life!
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
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