I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize