She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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