make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize