You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
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That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
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Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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