We got so high we made milksteak
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
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Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
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Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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